I have a love / hate relationship with taking care of me . Some days I could not care less Public phobia, other days I want to do everything possible to help make better, but anyway .... Usually I do nothing . I constantly ask myself , am depressed? lazy ? .... What is my problem? Why I can not convince myself that I just get up and go .
I just looked through a good friends wedding photos ... and as I see it, in the background, I remember a number of things Public phobia.
1 - when I got home and saw the pictures I cut the photos just me and the file name that I gave was " wide load " Public phobia.
2 - remember that almost did not attend the wedding because I'm so ashamed of my body. To be honest , most days it's hard to leave the house . If I look in the mirror and it turns out to have a look at one of the things I am more aware of himself Public phobia.... I speak of being completely in public that day.
My 10 year high school reunion is fast approaching, about 3 weeks. Not only I'm not married , I have children, not professionals, and they have not yet begun graduate school ... but I'm 100 pounds more than it was now graduation Public phobia.
I am very honored by the idea of people who have not seen me for 10 years Public phobia. I guess it makes sense if I am too embarrassed to be in the eyes of the people I see every day , I would also some concern for reunification with people after 10 years.
It's not just the big events .... this is what I have committed to participate if I'm in public or that I'm surrounded by people who seem to me to judge. I will go to almost all plans at the last minute and even in my family ... I got a terrible reputation for being reliable Public phobia.
My mother is probably one of the only 3 or 4 people who make me feel like I'm being judged as soon as his eyes hit me . Especially my father, my brother and some of my friends ..... being with them makes me very worried because I know that every time I go there , I'll be feeling insecure about my body Public phobia, uncomfortable and totally eliminated. It used to be flattered by eye contact when you talk to someone .....
I make sure that I have your attention ... but lately, when I speak, I want people to look the other way . I lose my train of thought because you're looking for me , all I think is " omg, think of the neck and chin fat" or "Please stop looking at me and s ' Please do not look at my arms , which my arms looked like shit "or" yes Public phobia, I know I am great, stairing can leave now. " Makes me want to stop talking and leave the room ... but I know he wants attention .